Maybe it was never about the game

Hello, and welcome back.

I would like to share something about myself that I think is important, or at least nice, for people to know. I love board games. This includes Monopoly, Scrabble, poker, UNO, Cluedo, and almost any card game. I am also always interested in learning new games. I think this comes from my undergraduate days in Nigeria, when many people thought I was antisocial because I did not enjoy certain social activities. They simply did not interest me at the time. Board games, however, always did. I could play them for hours and would happily make time for them.

Ironically, I cannot play chess. I love the idea of it, I have tried to learn it many times, but for reasons I still do not understand, it completely escapes me. A contradiction, I know.

So, when people ask what I enjoy doing in my spare time, I usually say reading novels, playing board games, and watching films. One day in my flat, during a quiet and uneventful evening, I was talking to my flatmates about a poker night I had during my Master’s degree. We had dressed up and made an entire event of it, and it was such a good memory. My Indian flatmate then asked if I knew how to play Phase 10. I had never heard of it before, but I was excited and said I did not know how to play, but I was happy to learn.

He said he would invite me the next time his friends were around. I will be honest; I did not expect it to happen. His friends often came over to play games in his room, and although we shared a thin wall, I did not think he would remember to invite me. Three or four days later, he sent me a message saying they would be playing Phase 10 at 8pm and asked if I wanted to join. I was so excited. I came back from campus early, had dinner by 5pm, and was ready by 7.30pm, waiting patiently for 8pm. We gathered, he made chai, and they taught me how to play Phase 10. It is a game of chance, and chance clearly knew I was new. Winning was not on my side that evening, but by the third round, I managed to win a couple of times.

Months later, I had become a regular. He even brought me a Phase 10 card deck from India. Our Hungarian flatmate then invited us to learn his favourite card game, Regicide. While I remember the many times he taught us how to play, I still would not feel confident playing it on my own without him beside me.

There are many reasons I am sharing this story, but the most important one is this. In university accommodation, we are all different, with different interests and hobbies. When we choose to be curious about one another and share what we love, we often end up gaining new hobbies and, more importantly, new connections. It has been months since I last played Phase 10 or Regicide, but when I see my card decks, I am instantly transported back to those evenings. We would sit together, playing cards, talking about life, laughing, and sharing stories. One of my flatmates was so good at counting cards that playing Regicide with him felt almost impossible. At the time, it annoyed me because I could hardly ever win. Now, I laugh when I think about it. It has become a happy memory. We are all different, and yet we can still find common ground in the simplest ways.

Sometimes, belonging does not arrive through big moments or formal introductions, but through a simple invitation to join a game.

Take care and see you next week.